by Ethel Mortenson Davis
I remember you
the last time,
when everything
I did grated on
you
and spilled
out of your eyes
onto the ground.
Even the black dog,
the one you carried
in your arms
out of that place,
tried to catch your
eyes,
but you turned
away.
I tried not to look at
the disappointment
that spilled
out over her eyes
onto the ground.
fourwindowspress 
There’s a very satisfying symmetry here, Ethel. It’s free verse, yes, but the three stanzas each make their own brief statements, and each focuses on the eyes, but the references are similar to a refrain and the third stanza repeats the notion of “spilling” out of the eyes “onto the ground”. And I notice how the first two stanzas are of equal length; the last appropriately shorter.
Quite what was going on in this scene is a mystery, but it is comprehensible – and the mood is consistent and strong throughout.
It’s very finely drawn.
Thanks for such a thoughtful remark. Ethel
Thought provoking.
Thank you Russ. Ethel