Tag Archives: Ode to a Golden Toilet

I’ve heard that golden toilets stink
Just like any other toilet.
Of course, those who say that don’t understand
That Trump’s golden toilet 
Blooms with fields of wildflowers,
And Beethoven’s Ninth Symphony trumpets
When he enters the bathroom
To declare that He is the One, the only One.

I can’t really tell if what I’ve heard is right
Either one way or another.
I’ve never even dreamed of having a gold toilet,
And if I had one, I’d been afraid to sit on it.
After all, we must remember
That when Dionysius gave Midas the golden touch
He fervently wished for,
He even turned his daughter into solid gold!
Who knows what the greed exhibited
By owning a golden toilet can lead to?

I personally prefer my toilets to be porcelain.